As title really.
The wedding dress has been returned.
I am still undecided what to do with it.
Sell it?
Burn it?
Throw it?
Charity shop it?
I like the sound of burning it to be fair, it will feel almost like I am sending him to hell.
Burning the memories that haunt me of today and rob me of my past.
Answers on a post card if you have any other solutions (P.s don't want to re-use the material either..)
Monday 28 January 2013
Friday 25 January 2013
''Nursing the Nation''
Okay, so not your typical OBEM blog here.
This was, again a real life filming following nurses as they went around their rounds, whether it be checking the elderly patients or the midwife who delivered a baby at home.
For those who missed it, the pages' status earlier today was as follows
Basically; as it says. What a potent message in what that Mother said. 'There seems to be a lot more trust when the midwives are in your home''
I want to re-state the fact I am not saying hospital births are wrong because even I know some are medically necessary but what I am saying is that this Mother clearly knew, should you be in hospital you can not trust them to leave out the unnecessary interventions.
I am pro-choice which means I can at best give you advice, research and even statistics on the safest way to deliver your baby but I believe it is your decision. If you don't take my advice and research into consideration that's your own fall out.
The other problem is that women now think it's now the normal to go into hospital to have your baby.
Anyone wanting to learn the traditional roles of the Midwives and birth REALLY needs to watch 'Call the Midwife' - It is, at the moment my favourite program to watch, not because of the Mothers giving birth, but a time when Midwives were in charge of the birth. A time before doctors were in charge. A time before Doctors made some thing so natural as giving birth and made it into a medical procedure. Something that requires hospital admission (not the case!) something they NEED to control. Doppler here, doppler there, ultrasound here, ultrasound there, blood tests here, blood tests there, inductions here, inductions there etc-. Birth is now regarded as a medical procedure and for that reason and that reason alone, women have babies in hospital.
As I have said for many many reasons one may be admitted, but for a healthy woman, healthy pregnancy there is no need why they should be in hospital. Everyone keeps whinging the NHS are struggling, they are closing Maternity Wards but the fact of the matter is, if women avoided unnecessary intervention and trusted their bodies more and gave birth at home, in a safe, clean, familiar surrounding it would free up the beds for those who need it, instead of risking a prolapse delivery in a waiting room, or a healthy woman healthy baby being born in the foot well of a car just off the road in the middle of no where (perhaps somewhere that doesn't have a signal!)
And yes, staff shortage will account for them having to cut back on home births which only contribute the problems as said above.
Now, touching upon the 'Doctors need to be in control'' comment earlier - anyone think this isn't true? Anyone? Doctors are the ones who tell you that you're baby is over due (don't get me started on that can of worms... seriously - please don't) and you will need to be induced. You'd ask about just a stretch and sweep but they would be insistent. If the baby is not out by **/** you will be admitted and started off. NOT ONCE do they then tell you that your risking rupturing your uterous - more than a VBAC woman would be. Yet when you are a woman going to attempt a VBAC they WILL tell you the risks until they are blue in the face and even then some more because they do NOT want you to vbac. THEY have to be in control.
I stood up to my bully obstetrician in 2006 now and I do not regret a single minute of it. However, the obstetrician who dealt with the baby I had in 2004 I wish I could see her again, tell her to the full extent she has damaged me but also inform her it's because of her lack of care, understanding and compassion she has made me this empowered woman I am today.
I WILL inform ALL Mothers they have the choices they want. And as much as she put me through hell I have had some brilliant experiences afterwards because of how badly she and her team treated me in a Gloucestershire trust hospital. I am the woman so shocked at what happened I couldn't talk about it to ANYONE for over a year after it happened, I knew that what had happened was wrong but I couldn't face up to it. I am the woman who found out her baby was born in 2004 had to be resuscitated and came out blue and floppy and despite signed paper work they injected him with Vitamin K. I am the woman who was told her baby would be born dead and IF she survived she'd need a hysterectomy in 2006 purely for wanting a home VBAC. And I am the woman who fought for a twin home birth despite the social services wanting me certify me as not mentally stable to make that decision.
A woman can and WILL birth where SHE wants and in my views, she will always labour and birth easier in a setting she is familiar with: home for instance.
It makes sense:
Scenario 1: Mother in hospital is strapped down to a machine with trollies of instruments around, surgical gloves, surgical equipment, her legs are in stirrups and she is in a medical environment about to do one of the most natural things a woman can do.
Scenario 2: Mother at home, comfortable on her sofa, leaning over the back of the sofa, while she's there she is able to see the framed family portrait on the wall. She's able to use her own clean toilet, she's able to wonder around naked, she's able to light candles without health and safety warnings and above all else, when the midwife is there she can not simply leave the room to check on other patients.
**NOTE** Whilst scenario 1 is a very medical out come and I am well aware of the more birth friendly suites many hospitals are bringing in. However - these special birthing suites / rooms are usually booked and even then there is only usually ONE per hospital. So more often than not, Mother will be accompanied by a very medical environment.
Is it right? Is it wrong? You decide.
I have for many many years had the saying
''My body, My Baby, My decision'' so it's time I said
''Your body, Your baby, your decision''
But please: let's try bring birth home. I would love to be able to witness the moment this day happens in the future but I fear it now never will because doctors have taken over, they control you - they call the shots.
Sad, very sad but also very very true.
Over & out, sleep tight :)
This was, again a real life filming following nurses as they went around their rounds, whether it be checking the elderly patients or the midwife who delivered a baby at home.
For those who missed it, the pages' status earlier today was as follows
''Nursing the Nation last night...
Mother had a beautiful home water birth...
Midwife goes back the day after to check the baby.
Mum tells camera "there seems to be a lot more trust when the midwives are in your home"
Says it all.... I'm NOT saying hospital births are wrong what so ever because sometimes it is the best situation but what I am saying is; in hospital they can't be trusted to leave unnecessary intervention alone!''
Basically; as it says. What a potent message in what that Mother said. 'There seems to be a lot more trust when the midwives are in your home''
I want to re-state the fact I am not saying hospital births are wrong because even I know some are medically necessary but what I am saying is that this Mother clearly knew, should you be in hospital you can not trust them to leave out the unnecessary interventions.
I am pro-choice which means I can at best give you advice, research and even statistics on the safest way to deliver your baby but I believe it is your decision. If you don't take my advice and research into consideration that's your own fall out.
The other problem is that women now think it's now the normal to go into hospital to have your baby.
Anyone wanting to learn the traditional roles of the Midwives and birth REALLY needs to watch 'Call the Midwife' - It is, at the moment my favourite program to watch, not because of the Mothers giving birth, but a time when Midwives were in charge of the birth. A time before doctors were in charge. A time before Doctors made some thing so natural as giving birth and made it into a medical procedure. Something that requires hospital admission (not the case!) something they NEED to control. Doppler here, doppler there, ultrasound here, ultrasound there, blood tests here, blood tests there, inductions here, inductions there etc-. Birth is now regarded as a medical procedure and for that reason and that reason alone, women have babies in hospital.
As I have said for many many reasons one may be admitted, but for a healthy woman, healthy pregnancy there is no need why they should be in hospital. Everyone keeps whinging the NHS are struggling, they are closing Maternity Wards but the fact of the matter is, if women avoided unnecessary intervention and trusted their bodies more and gave birth at home, in a safe, clean, familiar surrounding it would free up the beds for those who need it, instead of risking a prolapse delivery in a waiting room, or a healthy woman healthy baby being born in the foot well of a car just off the road in the middle of no where (perhaps somewhere that doesn't have a signal!)
And yes, staff shortage will account for them having to cut back on home births which only contribute the problems as said above.
Now, touching upon the 'Doctors need to be in control'' comment earlier - anyone think this isn't true? Anyone? Doctors are the ones who tell you that you're baby is over due (don't get me started on that can of worms... seriously - please don't) and you will need to be induced. You'd ask about just a stretch and sweep but they would be insistent. If the baby is not out by **/** you will be admitted and started off. NOT ONCE do they then tell you that your risking rupturing your uterous - more than a VBAC woman would be. Yet when you are a woman going to attempt a VBAC they WILL tell you the risks until they are blue in the face and even then some more because they do NOT want you to vbac. THEY have to be in control.
I stood up to my bully obstetrician in 2006 now and I do not regret a single minute of it. However, the obstetrician who dealt with the baby I had in 2004 I wish I could see her again, tell her to the full extent she has damaged me but also inform her it's because of her lack of care, understanding and compassion she has made me this empowered woman I am today.
I WILL inform ALL Mothers they have the choices they want. And as much as she put me through hell I have had some brilliant experiences afterwards because of how badly she and her team treated me in a Gloucestershire trust hospital. I am the woman so shocked at what happened I couldn't talk about it to ANYONE for over a year after it happened, I knew that what had happened was wrong but I couldn't face up to it. I am the woman who found out her baby was born in 2004 had to be resuscitated and came out blue and floppy and despite signed paper work they injected him with Vitamin K. I am the woman who was told her baby would be born dead and IF she survived she'd need a hysterectomy in 2006 purely for wanting a home VBAC. And I am the woman who fought for a twin home birth despite the social services wanting me certify me as not mentally stable to make that decision.
A woman can and WILL birth where SHE wants and in my views, she will always labour and birth easier in a setting she is familiar with: home for instance.
It makes sense:
Scenario 1: Mother in hospital is strapped down to a machine with trollies of instruments around, surgical gloves, surgical equipment, her legs are in stirrups and she is in a medical environment about to do one of the most natural things a woman can do.
Scenario 2: Mother at home, comfortable on her sofa, leaning over the back of the sofa, while she's there she is able to see the framed family portrait on the wall. She's able to use her own clean toilet, she's able to wonder around naked, she's able to light candles without health and safety warnings and above all else, when the midwife is there she can not simply leave the room to check on other patients.
**NOTE** Whilst scenario 1 is a very medical out come and I am well aware of the more birth friendly suites many hospitals are bringing in. However - these special birthing suites / rooms are usually booked and even then there is only usually ONE per hospital. So more often than not, Mother will be accompanied by a very medical environment.
Is it right? Is it wrong? You decide.
I have for many many years had the saying
''My body, My Baby, My decision'' so it's time I said
''Your body, Your baby, your decision''
But please: let's try bring birth home. I would love to be able to witness the moment this day happens in the future but I fear it now never will because doctors have taken over, they control you - they call the shots.
Sad, very sad but also very very true.
Over & out, sleep tight :)
Saturday 5 January 2013
OBEM is back on......... (new series)
It's new series started Wednesday 2nd January 2013, Channel 4 (HD) @ 9pm.
Okay, so I don't ever hide the fact this is my least favorite Maternal / Labour program to watch, and beyond my own self disbelief this program started out well today. A porter brought in a trolly full of new equipment (only to one room I believe)
Although the midwives, consultants & anesthetists are responsible for a few things, I think some of it is actually down to the parents / birth partners too.
Take couple 1, They were in hospital and the mother questioned SROM. Subsequently an invassive vaginal exam took place to actually determine that no, her membranes have not ruptured.
The Mother then returned later with her Mother and was 3-4cm and in 'active labour' only this time it was ''too much distress'' for her and she requested a repeat caesarean. (Pregnancy before ended in a ''stuck'' baby and therefore apparently, she too spent 3 days in labour [like myself when I had my twin girls in 2010] and she had a caesarean too).
Whilst I condone having a stuck baby needs a caesarean, I do not condone the hospital just giving her a repeat because she requested it.
At that point it was the Midwife / Consultant / Anesthetists job to re-inform this poorly educated woman into all the risks associated with another caesarean, Ok, I admit this woman *possibly* was informed with her first caesarean but did they inform her this time of all the risks, not only to her baby but to her as well? Did they inform her that in their books after 2 caesareans it's then ''hospital policy'' and ''procedure'' to not even try a TOL with her third baby - IF she were to have another? Did they inform her that despite their best efforts her baby could appear to have been slashed in the face? (He presented extremely low in VE) And did they also warn her that it was NOT necessary, she and her baby were in a very low risk labour and birth and that having unnecessary surgery may result in extensive bleeding that may not be stopped unless she's given many blood transfusions and a complete hysterectomy? No - I doubt they did.
Father turned up after the event and missed the caesarean delivery of his son - I bet he's really disheartened to miss an operation because his girlfriend was too scared to try naturally - and that's sadly what this boils down to. Poorly educated and perhaps scared to try to deliver naturally. Had that mother been armed with all the research, information, facts and figures about a VBAC vs 2nd elective caesarean she would no doubtfully chose to VBAC instead of endangering her own and her babies life. Anyway - that story - enough.
*Edit* Having just watched the end of that film with these two; it's clear another baby (and caesarean) are on the cards; Whilst I don't condone any caesarean and even though a VBA2C is possible I know that's definitely not what she wants - Luck to this family, Luck that she educates herself to make a fully informed decision next time.
Let's move on to Family #2. Both have children with other partners now have decided for one of their own. Perfect little, complete family. However this poor woman has been subject to what she described as 'weekly ultrasounds and very regular speculum exams' I am sure I don't speak alone when I say ''that poor baby''. They sadly have not gone into too much detail about why the above was apparently necessary but I suspect; that's because they knew I'd be watching, LOL. Anyway she had a previous false alarm before filming. She came in with pains and also suspected to have suffered a SROM. Howver, she then had her 2nd false alarm. Although disappointed that there was ''no baby today'' they went home.
They later returned with another suspected SROM and it was confirmed that it had ruptured but also her cervix was not in a labouring state. Jokingly the Father then said 'Yeah but you're not sending her home, ha ha' and the Midwife said 'Well actually.......... ' and they would have to go home again and wait for active labour to start. Now I am not sure how many deliveries this woman has had before and how quickly labour could occur, be it at home, motorway or hospital waiting room. But nothing condones the Fathers then behaviour. Shouting, swearing obscene language, just because they would have to go home again - it makes no sense, as he's said that - someone somewhere in this Country has had their baby deliver stillborn, someone somewhere has lost someone special to them and someone's world has just torn apart now THEY have the right to be angry - this Father does not. So what he has to go home, a lot of lazy ass men would prefer to go home, feet up, watch the tv and control the remote while their woman begins active labour, rather than being a 'bed-hogger' in a maternity ward where nothing, absolutely nothing is medically wrong with his wife!
Family #3 come in and get put into an ''active birth suite'' Mum looks alternative if I do say so myself, wearing a scarf around her neck, the way she is holding herself and the way she gets shown into this room and looks at the rag she can hold onto and the comments she make - this is a woman who is taking charge, I already like her. The way she went into her suite, and looked around and made it her room, instead of slumping on the bed ready for a VE, not giving a toss what sort of medically unnecessary equipment the room is filled with. This woman went in and made sure it had all what she wanted; not what the hospital team wanted. Her midwife has said (not in so many words) that she supports active birth and when she has children of her own; she too will have an active birth. (YAY, I like Midwife ''L'') I don't know why but there is something about this Mother that I see in myself. During the home interview she has a radiant sunshine on her wall and she has admitted that with her first she was ''terrified'' because of the horror stories she'd heard. She said she really regrets admitting it was too much and having a really strong painkiller (she hasn't said what, but I presume pethidine). She's hoping this time it's as ''natural as possible and definitely doesn't want any drugs cos I think when you start adding things in there, your bodies saying ah this is confusing'' I have fallen in love with this woman, she is everything I am, she stands for everything I work for. The Midwife 'L' then clarifies with Mother that she wants to be left to her own devices and L say's that's fine., I'm only a buzz away - blah blah. Mother's now in the room alone and doing pregnancy Yoga and she is moving with Labour, not labour moving her. She's laughing and joking and enjoying the experience.
The midwife has returned to do a doppler check, Mum breathes and chants / hums through out it and the midwife L soon clears off again, lol.
Her labour has now progressed and her 'active labour' room is filled with not only birthing balls, rag to hold onto, birthing chairs but also colour changing lights, air bubbles floating up through tiny displays that look lovely. She has such lovely long hair, all the way down her back, it looks so shiny, so healthy. Gorgeous. Father has asked her if she wants Gas and Air - she's told him to stop putting negative stuff in her head. (Now this is a real woman who knows what she wants, I still love this woman, the way she is dealing with this labour and birth - more women need to be like her).
She's now leaning into a beanbag, really groaning, possibly going into transition and Father asks 'Do you want me to call the midwife?' She agreed, she must know it's getting close now. He goes to the electronic pad, asks Mother which button they had to press (even I remember from earlier on in the program it was RED) shouting at the TV won't make him press it, I know this but yet I still shout ''RED'' - Why am I shouting? She isn't in danger, lol. Anyway; he's obviously picked up the wrong keypad and all the colour changing features in the room are going through different cycles - oblivious to Mother as she's face into a bean bag for support. It's one of those moments you shouldn't really laugh but you can't help but laugh at the doppy dad's misfortune by picking up the wrong keypad, hehe. He then has to leave the room to find midwife L. Returns to the room after a very short look for the Midwife. He's still clinging onto the light changing remote while being a bit, clueless. He's found the midwife, not midwife L. This midwife walked into the room, while looking concerned for the Mother who is now most definitely in transition and about to deliver she presses the buttons Dad's missed - without telling and informing him, even a very quick and loud ''here they are'' would of been suffice - maybe this midwife now sees this as an emergency. However Midwife L looks at the screen and runs towards the room. There is somewhat panic when this button is pressed. no sooner is Midwife L in the room she's on the floor, looking and seeing dark hair emerging. This woman is about to deliver. Midwife L is comforting this Mother and with a long, hard push and groan her baby is delivered, absolutely perfectly. Baby has come out a little on the quiet side but this is nothing a quick back rub couldn't fix. I am guessing as midwife L commented on the cord pulsating and still ''giving blood'' that this would of been a different story all together if Mother was on the bed, delivered, cord cut instantly - this well educated Mother has avoided a lazy birth, on a bed and has ultimately, avoided her baby needing resuscitation. She has delivered a beutiful baby girl who weighed 8lb 1oz. Midwife L has done all she needs to do and is heading out the room to give them ''alone time'' - time to bond in other words. She says if they need anything, buzz. Dad's up - he says, ''which one is it? I was pressing this one and changing the lights'' - everyone giggles.
This woman made a birth plan and thankfully; everything went the way it should of.
Family #2 return to be induced.
I knew that with so much good in this program ~ Family #2 there would be the drama of an inducement. **Big, deep breaths - I say this to myself, No screaming now, Uh uh - it's just a tv you can not kick her ass through your TV**
I wonder if this Father will kick off when she's being wheeled off to theatre? Ok - let's carry on watching IF I DARE to.
Being a daring woman I press play once more. Another VE is done and her waters are still there. Hey hey hey - hang on one tiny second, earlier on, she was admitted, VE done and confirmed waters had gone. This Mother then nodded 'back waters had gone then?' and the Midwife agreed - who is teaching who here? Tut tut.........
As she paces the room I see all the medical equipment that's needed - she obviously either doesn't care or thinks its necessary.
She's on gas and air now and whimpering while on all 4's. Bless her heart she has been reduced to tears, crying for ''it to be out''
I can't help but wonder how she's been induced? If she's been induced (along with all the other risks) inducement is a lot harsher on a woman's womb than natural, spontaneous labour. Therefore has she been offered an epidural? If she has - it looks like she has refused one. As she is in a lot of pain and as I say, on all 4's.
She's now on her back, typical chin on chest, pushing against the natural elements that is Gravity. Women who chose to labour like this make it harder on only themselves. Where as Family #3, she worked with Gravity, on all 4's. Anyway, a woman is in charge and it's her decision, I respect that of course I do - I'm just saying, she's making it only harder on herself. A lot of gas and air breathing later she's being advised of little pushes. 'Out he emerges, cord around the neck and that's quickly removed, as quickly as he was expelled from his Mothers body the Midwives are rubbing him dry, out of Mothers sight. The first most precious moments after birth wasted, lying flat by your Mothers bottom. It isn't long before he's screaming though and everyone are shedding tears. He was 7lb 2oz.
And now, this joy is over until next week. I hope you've read my comments with an educated brain, I hope that in some way it's spurred you on to get more involved with birthing, perhaps even research more, perhaps like me it's made you broody and desperate for another baby. My dream job would to become a doula, but due to ill health I don't see that happening any time soon unfortunately. I not only watch these programs with an educated mind but also with dreams inside my own. One day I dream of helping Family #3, just sitting quietly in a corner for her, my presence putting her at rest she isn't about to become a victim of Birth Rape; or rubbing her back, even after the birth, checking all is well, helping where necessary - my dreams exist here. I left School not knowing where I wanted my career but since having children I now know, firmly where my career is.It's not working in a retail branch, beep beep beeping on a checkout and it's not working anywhere else but in Pregnancy, Labour, Birth & everything after that, including Breast-Feeding & Baby-Wearing.
For now, over and out.
Okay, so I don't ever hide the fact this is my least favorite Maternal / Labour program to watch, and beyond my own self disbelief this program started out well today. A porter brought in a trolly full of new equipment (only to one room I believe)
Although the midwives, consultants & anesthetists are responsible for a few things, I think some of it is actually down to the parents / birth partners too.
Take couple 1, They were in hospital and the mother questioned SROM. Subsequently an invassive vaginal exam took place to actually determine that no, her membranes have not ruptured.
The Mother then returned later with her Mother and was 3-4cm and in 'active labour' only this time it was ''too much distress'' for her and she requested a repeat caesarean. (Pregnancy before ended in a ''stuck'' baby and therefore apparently, she too spent 3 days in labour [like myself when I had my twin girls in 2010] and she had a caesarean too).
Whilst I condone having a stuck baby needs a caesarean, I do not condone the hospital just giving her a repeat because she requested it.
At that point it was the Midwife / Consultant / Anesthetists job to re-inform this poorly educated woman into all the risks associated with another caesarean, Ok, I admit this woman *possibly* was informed with her first caesarean but did they inform her this time of all the risks, not only to her baby but to her as well? Did they inform her that in their books after 2 caesareans it's then ''hospital policy'' and ''procedure'' to not even try a TOL with her third baby - IF she were to have another? Did they inform her that despite their best efforts her baby could appear to have been slashed in the face? (He presented extremely low in VE) And did they also warn her that it was NOT necessary, she and her baby were in a very low risk labour and birth and that having unnecessary surgery may result in extensive bleeding that may not be stopped unless she's given many blood transfusions and a complete hysterectomy? No - I doubt they did.
Father turned up after the event and missed the caesarean delivery of his son - I bet he's really disheartened to miss an operation because his girlfriend was too scared to try naturally - and that's sadly what this boils down to. Poorly educated and perhaps scared to try to deliver naturally. Had that mother been armed with all the research, information, facts and figures about a VBAC vs 2nd elective caesarean she would no doubtfully chose to VBAC instead of endangering her own and her babies life. Anyway - that story - enough.
*Edit* Having just watched the end of that film with these two; it's clear another baby (and caesarean) are on the cards; Whilst I don't condone any caesarean and even though a VBA2C is possible I know that's definitely not what she wants - Luck to this family, Luck that she educates herself to make a fully informed decision next time.
Let's move on to Family #2. Both have children with other partners now have decided for one of their own. Perfect little, complete family. However this poor woman has been subject to what she described as 'weekly ultrasounds and very regular speculum exams' I am sure I don't speak alone when I say ''that poor baby''. They sadly have not gone into too much detail about why the above was apparently necessary but I suspect; that's because they knew I'd be watching, LOL. Anyway she had a previous false alarm before filming. She came in with pains and also suspected to have suffered a SROM. Howver, she then had her 2nd false alarm. Although disappointed that there was ''no baby today'' they went home.
They later returned with another suspected SROM and it was confirmed that it had ruptured but also her cervix was not in a labouring state. Jokingly the Father then said 'Yeah but you're not sending her home, ha ha' and the Midwife said 'Well actually.......... ' and they would have to go home again and wait for active labour to start. Now I am not sure how many deliveries this woman has had before and how quickly labour could occur, be it at home, motorway or hospital waiting room. But nothing condones the Fathers then behaviour. Shouting, swearing obscene language, just because they would have to go home again - it makes no sense, as he's said that - someone somewhere in this Country has had their baby deliver stillborn, someone somewhere has lost someone special to them and someone's world has just torn apart now THEY have the right to be angry - this Father does not. So what he has to go home, a lot of lazy ass men would prefer to go home, feet up, watch the tv and control the remote while their woman begins active labour, rather than being a 'bed-hogger' in a maternity ward where nothing, absolutely nothing is medically wrong with his wife!
Family #3 come in and get put into an ''active birth suite'' Mum looks alternative if I do say so myself, wearing a scarf around her neck, the way she is holding herself and the way she gets shown into this room and looks at the rag she can hold onto and the comments she make - this is a woman who is taking charge, I already like her. The way she went into her suite, and looked around and made it her room, instead of slumping on the bed ready for a VE, not giving a toss what sort of medically unnecessary equipment the room is filled with. This woman went in and made sure it had all what she wanted; not what the hospital team wanted. Her midwife has said (not in so many words) that she supports active birth and when she has children of her own; she too will have an active birth. (YAY, I like Midwife ''L'') I don't know why but there is something about this Mother that I see in myself. During the home interview she has a radiant sunshine on her wall and she has admitted that with her first she was ''terrified'' because of the horror stories she'd heard. She said she really regrets admitting it was too much and having a really strong painkiller (she hasn't said what, but I presume pethidine). She's hoping this time it's as ''natural as possible and definitely doesn't want any drugs cos I think when you start adding things in there, your bodies saying ah this is confusing'' I have fallen in love with this woman, she is everything I am, she stands for everything I work for. The Midwife 'L' then clarifies with Mother that she wants to be left to her own devices and L say's that's fine., I'm only a buzz away - blah blah. Mother's now in the room alone and doing pregnancy Yoga and she is moving with Labour, not labour moving her. She's laughing and joking and enjoying the experience.
The midwife has returned to do a doppler check, Mum breathes and chants / hums through out it and the midwife L soon clears off again, lol.
Her labour has now progressed and her 'active labour' room is filled with not only birthing balls, rag to hold onto, birthing chairs but also colour changing lights, air bubbles floating up through tiny displays that look lovely. She has such lovely long hair, all the way down her back, it looks so shiny, so healthy. Gorgeous. Father has asked her if she wants Gas and Air - she's told him to stop putting negative stuff in her head. (Now this is a real woman who knows what she wants, I still love this woman, the way she is dealing with this labour and birth - more women need to be like her).
She's now leaning into a beanbag, really groaning, possibly going into transition and Father asks 'Do you want me to call the midwife?' She agreed, she must know it's getting close now. He goes to the electronic pad, asks Mother which button they had to press (even I remember from earlier on in the program it was RED) shouting at the TV won't make him press it, I know this but yet I still shout ''RED'' - Why am I shouting? She isn't in danger, lol. Anyway; he's obviously picked up the wrong keypad and all the colour changing features in the room are going through different cycles - oblivious to Mother as she's face into a bean bag for support. It's one of those moments you shouldn't really laugh but you can't help but laugh at the doppy dad's misfortune by picking up the wrong keypad, hehe. He then has to leave the room to find midwife L. Returns to the room after a very short look for the Midwife. He's still clinging onto the light changing remote while being a bit, clueless. He's found the midwife, not midwife L. This midwife walked into the room, while looking concerned for the Mother who is now most definitely in transition and about to deliver she presses the buttons Dad's missed - without telling and informing him, even a very quick and loud ''here they are'' would of been suffice - maybe this midwife now sees this as an emergency. However Midwife L looks at the screen and runs towards the room. There is somewhat panic when this button is pressed. no sooner is Midwife L in the room she's on the floor, looking and seeing dark hair emerging. This woman is about to deliver. Midwife L is comforting this Mother and with a long, hard push and groan her baby is delivered, absolutely perfectly. Baby has come out a little on the quiet side but this is nothing a quick back rub couldn't fix. I am guessing as midwife L commented on the cord pulsating and still ''giving blood'' that this would of been a different story all together if Mother was on the bed, delivered, cord cut instantly - this well educated Mother has avoided a lazy birth, on a bed and has ultimately, avoided her baby needing resuscitation. She has delivered a beutiful baby girl who weighed 8lb 1oz. Midwife L has done all she needs to do and is heading out the room to give them ''alone time'' - time to bond in other words. She says if they need anything, buzz. Dad's up - he says, ''which one is it? I was pressing this one and changing the lights'' - everyone giggles.
This woman made a birth plan and thankfully; everything went the way it should of.
Family #2 return to be induced.
I knew that with so much good in this program ~ Family #2 there would be the drama of an inducement. **Big, deep breaths - I say this to myself, No screaming now, Uh uh - it's just a tv you can not kick her ass through your TV**
I wonder if this Father will kick off when she's being wheeled off to theatre? Ok - let's carry on watching IF I DARE to.
Being a daring woman I press play once more. Another VE is done and her waters are still there. Hey hey hey - hang on one tiny second, earlier on, she was admitted, VE done and confirmed waters had gone. This Mother then nodded 'back waters had gone then?' and the Midwife agreed - who is teaching who here? Tut tut.........
As she paces the room I see all the medical equipment that's needed - she obviously either doesn't care or thinks its necessary.
She's on gas and air now and whimpering while on all 4's. Bless her heart she has been reduced to tears, crying for ''it to be out''
I can't help but wonder how she's been induced? If she's been induced (along with all the other risks) inducement is a lot harsher on a woman's womb than natural, spontaneous labour. Therefore has she been offered an epidural? If she has - it looks like she has refused one. As she is in a lot of pain and as I say, on all 4's.
She's now on her back, typical chin on chest, pushing against the natural elements that is Gravity. Women who chose to labour like this make it harder on only themselves. Where as Family #3, she worked with Gravity, on all 4's. Anyway, a woman is in charge and it's her decision, I respect that of course I do - I'm just saying, she's making it only harder on herself. A lot of gas and air breathing later she's being advised of little pushes. 'Out he emerges, cord around the neck and that's quickly removed, as quickly as he was expelled from his Mothers body the Midwives are rubbing him dry, out of Mothers sight. The first most precious moments after birth wasted, lying flat by your Mothers bottom. It isn't long before he's screaming though and everyone are shedding tears. He was 7lb 2oz.
And now, this joy is over until next week. I hope you've read my comments with an educated brain, I hope that in some way it's spurred you on to get more involved with birthing, perhaps even research more, perhaps like me it's made you broody and desperate for another baby. My dream job would to become a doula, but due to ill health I don't see that happening any time soon unfortunately. I not only watch these programs with an educated mind but also with dreams inside my own. One day I dream of helping Family #3, just sitting quietly in a corner for her, my presence putting her at rest she isn't about to become a victim of Birth Rape; or rubbing her back, even after the birth, checking all is well, helping where necessary - my dreams exist here. I left School not knowing where I wanted my career but since having children I now know, firmly where my career is.It's not working in a retail branch, beep beep beeping on a checkout and it's not working anywhere else but in Pregnancy, Labour, Birth & everything after that, including Breast-Feeding & Baby-Wearing.
For now, over and out.
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