Dear Mrs I-don’t-have-any-qualifications-in-real-birth,
You probably don’t remember me, I’m just one of the many women you abuse with your power in your job, from which I understand is mainly cutting open vulnerable, young first time mothers. Are you really qualified to play God? Have you any idea what you are doing to young Mothers who know no better than to trust someone they think is only in their job to care and ‘do no harm’? Would you like me to refresh your very poor memory?
My due date was 4th December 2004. My baby had been breech from 33 weeks onwards. Mrs P attempted an ECV which failed as it was carried out ‘too late’ and he was ‘too big’.
I dreamt of giving birth naturally. You told me I had no choice in the matter, you’d had 2 caesareans and they are ‘not all that bad’ and I had to give birth via a caesarean because he was breech. On palpation you told us he was a ‘good size’ and he was ‘at least 9lb’ in weight.
I cried, I begged and I pleaded with you, I didn’t want it done. You and your team pressurised me into signing the consent forms but still I wanted to give birth. I wanted to at least try, but you didn’t even tell me I could have a TOL ‘Trial of labour’ did you? Why didn’t you inform me of ALL the options and risks? Who gave you this role to abuse and decide what was best for your patient? How do you sleep at night? Knowing you have given many women unnecessary caesareans? Do you have any conscious at all? Letting you bully, harass and assault me and my son is the worst ever decision I have made in my life of being a parent.
Want to know the best decision I have ever made? Speaking up for my beliefs, rights and what I wanted to Mrs P in 2006 when I achieved my home VBAC. Just because you’ve had two caesareans it doesn’t mean they were necessary, quite frankly I don’t care, in fact I’d love to know who ever ripped you open did it without good reason or cause.
Want to know the best decision I have ever made? Speaking up for my beliefs, rights and what I wanted to Mrs P in 2006 when I achieved my home VBAC. Just because you’ve had two caesareans it doesn’t mean they were necessary, quite frankly I don’t care, in fact I’d love to know who ever ripped you open did it without good reason or cause.
Do you really even know how the way you treated me has affected me? It wasn’t just you involved in this torment both my son and I faced 29th November 2004. If only you’d of told me I could try a TOL, if only you’d done your job and informed me there was other ways, instead of using bullying tactics to get me to do what you wanted, even though it isn’t what I wanted.
Us Mothers do get choices and rights you know, possibly you get little choice in India but this is the United Kingdom and it was your job to do best by your patient, and if you could see I desperately wanted to give birth, naturally you’d of helped me, not shunned me away in tears knowing I didn’t want surgery. ‘They don’t train doctors to deliver breech babies anymore’ is what you told me, it wasn’t your job to deliver my son, it was my job. One you said I couldn’t do. One Mrs P said I couldn’t do. You’ve left me with nothing but hurt where I should be celebrating a happy day.
My son, a sweet, innocent baby didn’t deserve to be hurt either. Can you just take one step back and realise what your doing is wrong and it’s hurting others? I have never been one to allow the dust to settle but you hurt me so much I couldn’t even talk to my Husband about how you left me feeling. I have now, sadly left it too late to complain (I believe) but rest assured I will make a difference to Gloucestershire residents, past and present. If you hadn’t of abused me in such a displicable manor I may not of done real research for my 2nd and so forth children, nor would I of taken up such a strong attitude to pregnancy, birthing and parenting and for that I think I should be thanking you for.
Thank you for treating me and my son like a piece of meat, thank you for lying to us, thank you for abusing me and my son and thank you for not informing me of my rights regarding childbirth. You have made me the person I am today, a strong believer in natural pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding and so forth. Although I still hurt I am fully aware you haven’t the first clue about your diplomatic oath you took ‘do no harm’ and I will strive to make others affected by the trauma of their ‘birth’ to speak up about it and I will, one day make sure everyone knows about you, about the others just like you and I won’t stop until my story is heard, in fact if you need a real refresher on your actions, check out my ‘birth’ story, it’s on The Birth Trauma Association’s website.
Us Mothers do get choices and rights you know, possibly you get little choice in India but this is the United Kingdom and it was your job to do best by your patient, and if you could see I desperately wanted to give birth, naturally you’d of helped me, not shunned me away in tears knowing I didn’t want surgery. ‘They don’t train doctors to deliver breech babies anymore’ is what you told me, it wasn’t your job to deliver my son, it was my job. One you said I couldn’t do. One Mrs P said I couldn’t do. You’ve left me with nothing but hurt where I should be celebrating a happy day.
My son, a sweet, innocent baby didn’t deserve to be hurt either. Can you just take one step back and realise what your doing is wrong and it’s hurting others? I have never been one to allow the dust to settle but you hurt me so much I couldn’t even talk to my Husband about how you left me feeling. I have now, sadly left it too late to complain (I believe) but rest assured I will make a difference to Gloucestershire residents, past and present. If you hadn’t of abused me in such a displicable manor I may not of done real research for my 2nd and so forth children, nor would I of taken up such a strong attitude to pregnancy, birthing and parenting and for that I think I should be thanking you for.
Thank you for treating me and my son like a piece of meat, thank you for lying to us, thank you for abusing me and my son and thank you for not informing me of my rights regarding childbirth. You have made me the person I am today, a strong believer in natural pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding and so forth. Although I still hurt I am fully aware you haven’t the first clue about your diplomatic oath you took ‘do no harm’ and I will strive to make others affected by the trauma of their ‘birth’ to speak up about it and I will, one day make sure everyone knows about you, about the others just like you and I won’t stop until my story is heard, in fact if you need a real refresher on your actions, check out my ‘birth’ story, it’s on The Birth Trauma Association’s website.
When I look at you, you are the perfect reason women need to hire independent midwives, doulas and I’d go as far as saying you’re the reason some women ‘free birth’.
So there, I hope you’re happy with the way you lie, abuse and assault your patients. I bet you cut women open daily and you love to feel their blood on your hands, knowing their caesarean wasn’t in any way, shape or form necessary but instead you feed off the ‘power’ you think you have, one day my dear, your world will come crashing down. Now I am older and stronger I will be making complaints, even though I am out of time, people need to be aware of you; people need to know how disgusting you really are. I will be there to watch your fall from Grace and I will be thanking the Lord for finally putting a stop to you.
