Free Pregnancy and Free birth

As many of you will know, I've had 5 children now - all pregnancies were completely different and so were the births.

1) Elective caesarean, I was sadly uneducated and believed what I was told. (Breech and low fluids)
2) Successful Home birth after a 20 hour labour, no problems ever arose.
3) Successful home birth, 3 hour labour (slow labour 10 days), no problems arose with the labour and birth.
4) Emergency caesarean section with double, stuck transverse twin girls.

So what have I learnt?
That's easy, read and research every angle your pregnancy could go. Even if you don't think you'll have a breech baby, read about it anyway. Don't read and focus on the horror stories or you'll set yourself up to fail. Read the positive and success stories, picture yourself having this kind of birth but don't be blind to the risks, make sure your facts are factual and not just someones account of something happening.
Example: Woman X finds out her baby is breech, Woman Y says her baby was a breech and she HAD to have a caesarean so woman X will need a caesarean too.
Make sure your facts are from real websites and not here-say. Make sure you be-friend others like you, who have been through what you want, I.E with after I had James I be-friended a woman who shared so much in common with my first, she was hopeful of a home birth, she asked my input and advice and I gave it to her. Unfortunately her home birth wasn't successful.

Birth where you want to and where you feel comfortable and with whom you feel comfortable. If your ideal comfortable is where you have lots of medical experts on hand to cut you open, go for it.
However if you feel more comfortable without medical experts around, go for it.
If I have learnt something from all of my experiences, it's that 'professionals' only stress the Mother with their false facts and figures, they prey on the women for what ever reason.
My next pregnancy (if and when I am graced with this gift) will be an unsupervised free pregnancy and free birthing at home.

If I could change anything, what would I change?
I would change everything about my first baby, even though I didn't have the internet for information, friends and resources I would find a way to believe in my body, I would find a way to birth naturally. I would do everything differently from the midwife during the pregnancy to the birthing of my son. I would do it all so differently.
There is nothing I would change about my home births, they were both magical. There is nothing I could change with my last pregnancy, I did everything in my power to avoid a caesarean, after 2-3 days in labour we are still very lucky to be alive, they were in such a position and stuck, even the surgeon had problems withdrawing them from my abdomen. I did everything I could, and sadly it was what was meant to be. It doesn't mean I accept it, it doesn't mean I like the idea any more because as I came around from the operation I didn't want to breath, I wanted to die on the table, I didn't want to come back from this failure. Not again. I was kept an eye on for several hours, I stayed in recovery hooked up to oxygen and a pulse oximeter for good measure, I also understand that they ran a blood gas test, had 5 stab wounds on my left wrist when I woke up.
I take my hat off to women who lie awake while a surgeon cuts them open and drags their baby(s) from their abdomen, for me, it's merely an operation. It's 9 months of hard labour making and growing a baby for some doctor in a white coat to rip you open, pull you apart and drag your baby from within you. It's not ''birth''. I've had the privilege to give birth and a caesarean section is definitely NOT giving birth. You may think this is harsh words but it's the gods honest truth, I don't beat around the bush, never have done and I never will. I say things as I find them, whether that be what you want to hear or not, I will never dress things up to be something they are not.
You will never hear me say anything positive about a caesarean section, other than in the end it saved my babies lives. I feel so strongly about caesarean sections, I'd rather of died than live with the pain of the scar and the failure behind it - speaks volumes.

I know there are other women out there, who are like me - hate their caesarean sections, and on the reverse side there are some women out there perfectly happy with the caesarean section rate, Victoria Beckham for one.

The Parental Loss of Childbirth

I was reading an article earlier today, which highlighted the physical stress put on babies and Mothers during labour and childbirth. Noting all the stress points on the babies while being born and vice versa, the strain on the Mothers birthing their child.
For what ever reasons birth can be traumatic, terrifying and in worst cases leave Mothers suffering with post natal depression (PND) and Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

This article sadly didn't touch upon the emotional strains of a woman having to have a caesarean section (for what ever reason)

Some mothers take a caesarean section as the only way, while others make sure it's the only thing left to exhaust. I have been both of these scenarios!

A birth means everything to the family: This sentiment I feel is forgotten by medical staff in a hurry to deliver the babies in todays society. Whether they use the good old rule 'failure to progress' or indeed make up some other mumbo jumbo, their main priority is to get the baby out and in most cases than not, as quickly as possible. I've heard a story where a woman was asked to make up her mind (this was late at night), caesarean now or you'll have to wait until the morning, this is a woman VBAC'ing in a hospital in the UK.
She decided to wait it out, she wanted to try and birth as naturally as possible.
But - who are they to determine this woman's birth? Who are they to offer this unnecessary surgery when there was otherwise no complications, apart from being a previous caesarean mother.
Then when the morning came - without an examination they whisked her off to surgery for ''failing to progress'', how do they know? Did they examine her? No. Instead, it's the hurry to get the baby out.
Why do they do this?

With my first child I wasn't allowed to even go into labour for his breech malpresentation, and presenting with 'lack of fluids', In hindsight, they knew what they were doing, knew I didn't want it but pursued me anyway.
I was crying, in hysterics I did not want the caesarean done, yet they failed to tell me I had a choice, they failed to tell me I could try to deliver naturally, and they failed to provide me with accurate information about my choice of birthing.
The result? An elective caesarean section where they lied to me, assaulted me and my baby, then left me with horrible PTSD to which I still suffer today and so forth.

What people fail to mention is that for me (and I am sure a lot of other caesarean women), our thoughts, feelings and the emotional aftermath of a caesarean section. Not only are you faced with a horrible scar on your body, which in my case, I can not touch this area for feeling sick to my stomach, knowing they ripped me open and dragged my baby out, but you are also faced with birthdays for your child (ren), to ''celebrate'' their ''birth''.
What if you don't class a caesarean section as a 'birth'?
What if you are sickened at what happened?
What if you hate your own child for his first week or so of life?
Who looks after us? Who cares? Who decides to take that birth right away from us? Knife happy surgeons, that's who.

So, I'm wondering how many other parents feel such a great loss when it comes to the birth of their child (ren)?

The article I read also broached upon the chemicals people often go for with childbirth, induction drugs - because they are synthetic chemicals (as I call them synthetic crap) they are not natural, natural hormones after birth make you have a rush of love to your child, and when you have had a chemical hormone that interestingly blocks the bodies natural response to childbirth, so not only if you have an induction are you putting yourself at risk of uterine rupture and emergency caesarean sections, but you're also putting your bonding and breast feeding experiences at risk too.


Of course there are perhaps a lot of women who naturally are OK with their caesareans, they accept them, possibly don't know much about their options and accept they ''have'' to have them, and I will admit, a few are necessary but they are over-used, and it's these women who need to know there is a choice.
I have tried now for 6 years and more to accept my caesarean section, but I guess I'm not that kinda girl, I know it shouldn't of happened and I can never accept it.
I take my hat off to those women who can accept their caesarean section with little or no trauma attached, and those that see it as a birth of their baby, I just wish I could think like this.

Not everyone chooses to listen to me and my doula-like ramblings but I assure you this is something I feel passionately about, so much so I have to try and warn others about the mistakes they are about to make.
I have one too many friends now go for induction with out taking a blind bit of notice to my warnings and advice - and all have had emergency caesarean sections. I do try, but at the end of the day, if you're not listening hard enough to what I tell you, you will inevitably fall upon your own grace. You will only have yourself to answer to, it's not my body, not my baby and not my birth, I only ever want to save you from the hurt I feel about my caesarean section(s), I can not make you listen and those who repeatedly fail to acknowledge my wealth of information shall get no more.

I read and research still to this day about pregnancy and birth because I am interested in becoming a doula, perhaps even a midwife, Even though they are restricted by insurance and guidelines.
What will be, will be. I know I will make a difference to the people who can be bothered to take on board my advice.